


Per Aspera

by beatperfume



Series: Trash In Space [1]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec In Peril, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Stargate Atlantis Fusion, M/M, Protective Alec Lightwood, Protective Magnus Bane, Sex Pollen, Soul Bond, murderously protective boyfriends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-21
Updated: 2017-03-21
Packaged: 2018-10-09 01:14:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10400436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beatperfume/pseuds/beatperfume
Summary: Captain Alec Lightwood goes to Atlantis, fights Wraith, gets soul bonded, gets kidnapped, gets sex pollened, blows stuff up, and falls in love. Mostly in that order.A Stargate Atlantis AU.





	

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. So I decided there wasn't enough trope fic in Shadowhunters fandom, so I tried to fit as many tropes as possibly into one story.
> 
> 2\. This is browniet's fault. She forced me into it by bringing up the idea and then doing nothing and waiting for me to write it. She also provided invaluable cheerleading through the writing process. MissP made sure that words made sense and angelsaves is a literal comma goddess. 
> 
> 3\. I have never read the books. I am never going to read the books. This is all TV canon, and also an AU so it barely matters anyway.
> 
> 4\. More detailed content warnings for the story, especially relating to the sex pollen tag can be found at the end of the work. Also, feel free to message me if you have questions relating to content that could be triggering or concerns about anything. Be kind to yourselves, kids.
> 
> 5\. Until three seconds ago this story was titled Trash In Space which tells you everything you need to know about a) this story and b) me. Enjoy.

On Alec's first full day in Atlantis, Colonel Sheppard calls him into his office.

"Captain Lightwood," Sheppard greets him, "have a seat."

Alec has to clear off an old tablet and a box of Ancient artifacts to sit in the only chair. Colonel Sheppard's office looks like it's used more for storage than paperwork. Or any work at all.

"So, Captain. You come with a list of recommendations as long as my arm. The best of the best, am I right?"

"Sir, Captain Wayland would probably beg to differ."

"Right, him," Colonel Sheppard says. "I'll get to him later." Sheppard leans back in his chair and crosses his arms. To some, he might look relaxed. To Alec, he looks like a predator playing with his food.

"Let's just get this out of the way. Is General Lightwood..."

"My mother, sir." Alec keeps his face as blank as possible.

Sheppard does something complicated with his eyebrows. Then he sighs. "That woman hates me." 

Alec does his best not to wince. "She hates a lot of people. Sir."

"Mmhmm," Sheppard says. "She's probably not happy that you're here, serving under me."

In fact, his mother had spent the three months leading up to this deployment doing everything in her considerable power to get him reassigned. It was only his strong expression of the Ancient gene that overruled her. That and the direct personal intervention of General O'Neill and General Hammond.

But if his CO can't trust him because he's his mother's son, then he just traveled to a whole other galaxy for nothing, because she's won.

"It, uh, wasn't her first choice, sir."

Sheppard stares him down. "Then why are you here?"

This is what Sheppard really wants to know. This is why he's been called here.

"Sir, with my gene, I think I could do the most good here. And..." And he couldn't let Jace and Isabelle go to another galaxy without him because it would end in disaster. And he wanted to be his own person, his own leader. And there was something else. It felt like there was something he was meant to find, and maybe it was here.

"And it's in a completely different galaxy than your mother?" Colonel Sheppard offers.

Alec inclines his head slightly. "Sir." Shepard smirks.

"Alright. We'll meet in a few days and hash out team assignments. You're dismissed."

And that is that.

***

On Alec's second day in Atlantis, he and Jace and all the newbies go on a tour of the city with Major Branwell. They're only touring the cleared parts of the city, but they're still fully outfitted and issued P-90s, "because shit happens," Major Branwell says. 

Alec blames her for what happens next.

He and Jace step into a nondescript room to look around. He hears Jace say, "Huh, look at this."

"Jace - " Alec reaches out to pull Jace away without even looking because Dr. McKay had spent 45 minutes on their very first day giving a speech that basically amounted to: "Don't touch anything. Ever. For any reason. I'm serious, you will die."

His hand wraps around Jace's upper arm, and he starts to pull, and that's when everything goes white.

When he comes back to some sort of awareness, it's to a faint burning sensation right below his ribs and a strange murmuring just on the edge of his hearing.

He opens his eyes, but there's no one talking near him. Izzy's sleeping in a chair next to his bed.

Actually it doesn't really feel like words anyway. More like presence? Or something. What is going on?

"Iz," he tries to say, but it only sort of sounds like a word. Izzy wakes up anyway and smiles at him.

"Alec! You're awake! Let me get Dr. Keller."

The weird sensation grows louder. Or more. Maybe bigger? 

"What's going on?" Jace says from the next bed. And the weird sensation feels like confusion, and Alec suddenly has some idea of what is going on, and he really really wishes that he didn't.

"Well," Dr. Keller says from the doorway. "About that."

***

"I thought that section of the city was cleared," Alec grits out. "How the hell - "

"It was cleared," Major Branwell says. "Loads of people have touched that machine without incident."

"I didn't - " 

"You were touching Captain Wayland while he was touching the machine," Dr. Zelenka says. "We think that's the only way it could have worked."

Dr. Zelenka's hair stands on end and he has bags under his eyes because he and his team spent the entire time Alec and Jace were out researching the machine and figuring out what happened to them. Normally Alec would be grateful, but he can't be grateful right now because he and Jace are ... empathically linked or whatever, and this is literally the worst thing that could have happened to Alec.

He feels confusion and a little hurt from Jace, and that only makes it worse. Who knows what Jace is getting from him.

"So what? If two people had touched it before now, this would have happened to them?" Jace asks.

"No," Zelenka says. "These two people would have had to both have the gene. And be touching each other. And also be ... compatible."

"Compatible?"

"The marks on your sides," Dr. Keller speaks up. 

"Yes," Zelenka says. "According to linguistics, it translates to 'soul sibling.'"

"They're ... soul bonded?" Izzy asks.

"Yes," Zelenka nods. The bottom drops out of Alec's stomach, and the blood drains from his face. Izzy squeezing his hand is the only thing that keeps him from passing out or running away. He suddenly and fervently wishes that he had listened to his mother and stayed in the Milky Way.

"Is that like some sort of Ancient marriage thing?" Jace asks. He doesn't seem totally disgusted, at least.

"No," Zelenka says. "Is not a romantic bond. Like I said, soul sibling. Fighting together, knowing each other, but not romantic."

Alec feels Jace settle into acceptance and even a little satisfaction, and it's like a dagger in his heart.

"So you can fix it, right?" Alec asks. "You can get rid of it."

Dr. Keller studies her shoes. Zelenka rubs the back of his head, messing up his hair even more.

"Well ..." he says. 

"Not exactly," Dr. Keller finishes. "The bond is meant to be permanent. We can try to remove it, but it would likely cause you both permanent damage. Until we know more, the best thing you can do is learn to control it.”

"Great," Alec says faintly.

Atlantis is the worst place ever.

***

Meeting his new gate team was pushed back until he and Jace were cleared for light duty.

Being cleared had taken twice daily sessions with Dr. Heightmeyer, one heart-to-heart with Izzy, and one incredibly awkward conversation with Jace.

The bond still hums on the edge of Alec's awareness, but he and Jace have managed to put rudimentary controls in place, at least. He's mostly sure he's not hemorrhaging all-too-revealing feelings at Jace, and at this point that's all he can ask for.

So he walks into the meeting feeling pretty good, and then nearly trips over his own feet.

Leaning against the table talking to Izzy is the most beautiful man Alec has ever seen.

"Alec!" Izzy lights up. "This is Magnus Bane, he's on our gate team."

Alec feels the goofy smile taking over his face and can't make it stop.

"Hi," he says. "I'm Alec. But uh, you already knew that?" _Oh god, Alec, stop talking._ By the time he holds out his hand, it's late enough to be awkward, but Magnus smiles. Alec doesn't miss the way his eyes take Alec in, head to toe and back again. 

"Pleasure to meet you, Captain," Magnus says. He clasps Alec's forearm, and Alec forgets how to form words.

"Um. Just ... Just Alec. Is fine, I mean. Or whatever."

Magnus smirks, and Alec has now held on too long. _God, Alec, get it together._

"You're not, uh, military," Alec says, which is stupid because _duh._ Although Magnus is wearing a standard black Atlantis uniform, his hair is sticking up in some sort of mohawk, and he is definitely wearing eyeliner and also nail polish. 

"Uh, no," Magnus says.

"Magnus is Descended," Izzy breaks in, thankfully saving Alec from himself. It takes him a moment to remember what the hell she means, but he does before he can make a fool of himself again. 

Descended, meaning Magnus was once Ascended, but chose to come back and fight against the Wraith. There are a few throughout the galaxy, but not many.

"Um, cool," Alec says. "Great. Oh hey, meeting’s starting."

Alec gratefully drops into a chair and focuses all his attention on Colonel Sheppard.

***

Later that night, Jace comes to see him. 

He can feel him getting closer to his room through the bond and knows that he’s curious about something, but that’s basically Jace all the time, so Alec doesn’t give it much thought.

"What happened, earlier?" Jace asks when Alec lets him into the room. 

"When?" Alec isn't really paying attention, looking at his tablet. He'd gotten access to the server in the afternoon, and now he's trying to put together his team's schedule. 

"This morning," Jace says. "Around 11. Isn't that when your gate team meeting was? What happened?"

"What do you mean?"

"I felt something through the bond. It was really jumbled, but it was really intense."

Alec freezes. Intense feelings. Gate team meeting. Magnus. The stupid fucking bond. Embarrassment roars up, as well as a little bit of giddiness, and Alec tamps down on all of it as quickly as possible. 

"Oh wow," Jace says. "You know, I can actually feel you repressing. This is wild."

Worst. Place. Ever.

***

Their first mission is supposed to be a cakewalk, which probably should have been Alec's first clue that everything was going to go wrong.

M3S-097 is home to a small farming community that Atlantis has visited before. The team's mission is to trade crates of medical supplies for sacks of grain, renew diplomatic ties, and generally make nice. It's not supposed to be challenging, but it's also Alec's first mission in Pegasus.

Alec knows that he's coming into a team that's already been established for some time. Izzy, Magnus, and Sergeant Santiago have been working together for almost a year. Their previous team leader, Lt. Laskowski, was rotated back to Earth, and Alec knows there was some tension there. (Tension is the polite way of saying it. Izzy had some choice words for Lt. Laskowski in her emails.) So Alec is the new guy, and he has to find a way to fit himself into this team. A peaceful training mission is like training wheels. He gets to observe his new team, they get to get used to him.

Alec is mostly worried about acting like an idiot in front of Magnus, who doesn't seem to think an off world mission is any reason to not wear eyeliner. To be fair, Izzy doesn't think an off world mission is any reason not to wear a full face of makeup and keeps an extra tube of lipstick in her tac vest.

But it's easy to slip into Captain mode when they're on a mission, and it seems as long as he has a job to do, he can keep his emotions in check. This never used to be in question, but he never used to have to see the smooth muscles of Magnus’s back as he shrugs into his shirt in the locker room, either. He takes 30 seconds to close his eyes and tamp it down while everyone else files out to the gate room. 

They walk out of the stargate and into bright morning sunshine.

Alec absently rubs the mark below his ribs while he scans the area for activity.

"How is it?" Izzy asks.

"Weird," Alec says. "Really faint now." He can barely feel Jace, which isn't too surprising since they are now half a galaxy apart. After a week plus of having him loud and clear in the back of Alec's mind, it's almost alarming.

Seeing no movement beyond a few native birds, he helps Sergeant Santiago get the cart with the medical supplies down the two shallow steps leading from the Stargate. It's two miles to the village, but the path is wide and level, and the weather is pleasant. Izzy leads the way, attention equally divided between the path in front of her and her tablet, then Santiago and Magnus. Alec takes up their six. It's a safe planet, but as has already been proven, shit happens.

"Has anyone been here before?" Alec asks, more to make conversation than for any hope of gaining tactical information.

"I have," Magnus offers. "But it's been a century. Or maybe two."

Alec blinks at him and wonders if that's some sort of Pegasus slang or failure of the translation matrix. Magnus looks back and gives him a rueful grin.

"We Descended don't age, at least not as far as anyone can tell."

That's ... new.

"So how long have you been, uh, Descended?"

"About 300 years. Give or take a few differing planetary rotations."

300 ... Jesus fucking Christ. "Oh," Alec says faintly.

Magnus drops back to walk by Alec's side, far closer than he needs to be. Alec swears he can feel the warmth from where their arms are almost touching.

"Isabelle and Raphael are the only ones who know," Magnus says softly. "Immortality ... it can be a great temptation for some."

"It sounds lonely," Alec says, and then immediately wishes a convenient sinkhole would appear so he could fall into it.

Magnus gives him a considering look, but then he smiles and keeps walking by Alec's side.

They're in the middle of the midday meal with the village when they hear it.

Or rather, Magnus hears it.

Alec sees him suddenly tilt his head, his expression distracted. Alec can only hear the sounds of the village enjoying a meal, and then, very faintly, a high whine.

"Dart!" Magnus shouts. "Everyone inside!"

Everyone responds immediately, dropping whatever they're doing or eating and scurrying for the buildings. Alec has his P-90 in hands, as does Santiago. Izzy unstraps her sidearm. Magnus doesn't grab a weapon, even though he has one. He just stands stock still, his head turned in the direction of the dart. By the time it's in view over the trees, it's almost on them. Alec lifts his P-90, but Magnus acts first. He holds up his hands and some kind of blue light pours from them. Alec has no idea what the fuck is happening, but the light hits the dart, and the dart abruptly veers to the side and crashes into the ground. Everything is silent for a second. They're all waiting for the sounds of more.

"Is that it?" Alec asks finally. 

"Must be a scout," Santiago says. 

"We need to get these people out of here," Magnus says.

"Right." Alec turns to the buildings. "Everyone get to the gate!" he yells. The people of the village come pouring back out. No one complains or says no. Some people have small packs, some people hoist children on their backs.

"Izzy, Santiago," Alec snaps. "I want you up front. Get to the gate and dial Atlantis as quick as you can. We can't let them block us out. Magnus, you and I will take up the rear."

"Don't I wish," Magnus mutters, but before Alec can respond, he's helping villagers move to the gate.

It's a nerve-wracking run to the gate. Not everyone can run fast, and Alec and Magnus help them along as much as they can. They're close, but the gate still isn't in sight when they hear more darts in the atmosphere. More than one, this time.

"Run!" Alec shouts at the people in front of him. He fires short bursts at the incoming darts, even knowing it probably won't help. Magnus gets the first two with whatever the fuck he does. It buys them enough time to get out of the trees and into the clearing with the gate. Izzy and Santiago are waving people through the active wormhole. 

Alec picks up a flagging child just in time to avoid the white culling beam. 

"Alec!" Izzy calls. Alec looks up to two Wraith drones bearing down on him. He shoves the kid toward the gate and picks up his P-90 to shoot one in the face. It keeps it back, but doesn't kill it. Alec scrambles to the gate, searching for Magnus. He's there by the DHD, flinging blue light around. Santiago is firing at the Wraith, and Izzy is pushing the last of the villagers through the gate.

Alec is opening his mouth to tell her to get her ass through the gate when Magnus yells, "Down!"

Alec dives, just in time to see a stunner blast go through where he would have been and hit the DHD. 

The wormhole blinks out.

"Fuck!" Izzy screams. Then, "I can fix it!"

Santiago moves to cover her when she drops down in front of the DHD and starts prying it open, but there are more darts in the air and drones on the ground. If they can't keep moving, they're sitting ducks. 

Alec looks at Magnus.

"I think I can shield us," Magnus says. "But it takes a lot of energy, and I've used a lot already."

Alec shoots a drone coming up on Santiago's left.

"Do what you can," he tells Magnus. "We need to give Izzy time."

Magnus nods and takes a deep breath. He spreads his hands and the blue light surrounds them in a dome. The Wraith and darts are suddenly wavy and indistinct, like looking at them through thick blue glass. The culling beams and stunners can't get through. This is crazy.

When the Wraith realize that firepower won’t get them through, they start lining up along the edges. Waiting for it to drop, Alec realizes. Waiting for Magnus to run out of energy.

"How's it coming, Izzy?" Alec asks. "We need to get that gate open."

"I'm a biologist, not an engineer!" Izzy snaps. There's a growing pile of burnt crystals next to her. "I need more time!" Alec glances at Magnus, who already looks pale and unsteady on his feet. 

"We don't have much more time," he tells her.

"Then shut up and let me work!"

Alec can't answer her because that's when Magnus starts to fall. Alec reaches out to catch him, but Magnus isn't exactly small, and Alec can only control their descent to the ground. Magnus is sweating and breathing hard and nearly limp against Alec's chest. The blue glow above them is starting to look decidedly transparent.

"Magnus, what can I do?"

Magnus's eyes barely open, but he holds out his hand. "Share your strength with me," he says. 

Alec has no idea what that means, but they are all going to die really soon if this shield fails. He grasps Magnus's hand firmly. "Whatever you need."

Magnus squeezes his hand, and Alec feels it: a strange pulling sensation. Like a tide retreating out him and into Magnus. He closes his eyes so he can concentrate on opening himself up and letting it flow out. He can hear Izzy's cursing and Santiago saying, "Why do these missions never go right?" and Magnus's labored breathing. He can feel the hard dirt under his knees, and Magnus's shoulder against his chest, and mostly he feels Magnus's hand holding his tightly and his own strength, flowing into Magnus.

"Got it!" Izzy yells, and then there's the whoosh of the wormhole engaging behind him. He hopes like hell Santiago is sending their IDC because Alec has his hands full. He forces his eyes open, then drags himself to his feet, bringing Magnus with him. Magnus is dead weight, all his concentration on making the shield. The ground tilts under Alec's feet. He's not going to last much longer.

Izzy and Santiago each grab one of his arms and lead him back up the steps to the gate.

"Magnus, you can let go now," Alec says.

As soon as Magnus drops his hand, Alec picks him up. The shield drops, but it's alright, because they're already through the gate.

Izzy's already yelling for medical when the get through the wormhole. Magnus sighs softly, and Alec tries not to think about how he's basically cuddling Magnus to his chest. "You okay?" he asks.

"Thank you," Magnus says, and goes limp. 

Alec places him gently on the stretcher that Dr. Biro brings before he passes out in the middle of the gate room.

***

Alec wakes up in the infirmary again, but this time Magnus is sitting by his bedside, staring intently at his face.

"You're okay," Alec mumbles, barely able to get his mouth to move right. But Magnus must understand because he smiles.

"Thanks to you," he says. His eyeliner is mostly gone, and his hair is limp, and it makes his face look soft and touchable.

"Thanks to you," Alec retorts, even though it doesn't make much sense.

"Alexander," Magnus sighs. Nobody has ever said Alec's name like that before, and it makes his face flush. "You do surprise me."

Alec wants to know if that's a good thing or a bad thing, but he falls back asleep before he can ask.

***

Alec has been in Atlantis two weeks and has already been in the infirmary twice ("You're going to be one of _those_ , aren't you?" Dr. McKay had said, glaring at him. "Rodney! Leave my brother alone!"), so he needs to start getting back into shape. His team is being put on a full rotation of first contact, diplomatic, and trading missions, and if even some of them go like their first mission, Alec is going to need to be at his best. 

His door chimes as he's tying his running shoes.

"Magnus," Alec says when he opens it, and then all his words get tangled around his tongue and fail to make it past his lips because Magnus is wearing some sort of sleeveless hoodie, and holy God, his arms are just right there.

"Isabelle said you go running," Magnus says. "I thought I might join you, if that's okay?"

"Um," Alec says. "Why?" Which is totally rude and also stupid, and Alec really wishes his brain would connect to his mouth when Magnus is around.

But Magnus doesn't seem insulted. "I've picked it up from you Atlanteans. I enjoy it." 

Of course. Magnus just likes running. Just wants some company for a run, could be anyone, really.

"Also," Magnus continues, "I'd like to spend more time with you."

Alec barely stops himself from asking why again. They're on the same team. "Okay," he says instead, and then nearly trips over his untied shoelace when Magnus smiles at him.

***

Alec is later than usual for breakfast that day, because the memory of Magnus's bare arms glistening with sweat kept him in the shower turned all the way to cold for way too long.

He plops down next to Jace who shifts sideways and tosses him a muffin without looking. Alec catches it and snags one of the two cups of coffee on Jace's tray with his other hand.

When he looks up from his first long sip, Magnus is watching them with a tilted head.

"Oh, _parabatai_ ," he says.

"What?" Alec asks.

Magnus shakes his head. "I don't remember."

"You just said it," Jace says. 

"He's Descended," Alec reminds Jace.

"Descended from what," Jace mutters, and shoves a bite of egg into his mouth.

"Sorry," Magnus says. "Sometimes things just come out. But I don't remember where they came from. I think it's the name for your bond."

Alec shrugs. It's not the most helpful memory, but from what he understands, most of Magnus's random memories aren't.

"I like it," Izzy says. "Sounds better than soul sibling."

"It sounds like nonsense," Jace says.

From there, breakfast descends into familiar bickering. Alec grins into his coffee, and when he looks up, Magnus is grinning back.

***

Things never seem to get less crazy in Atlantis, but Alec does settle into some sort of routine. He goes on missions with his team that go wrong a lot of the time and right sometimes, but they manage to keep each other safe, and that's all that Alec cares about. 

He takes stick fighting lessons from Teyla, and he and Jace learn that their bond means they can do a lot of damage when they're fighting together.

He hangs out with Izzy in her lab and gets used to the Wraith parts scattered around and the way all the scientists yell at each other. Sometimes Jace comes too, and sometimes they get tipsy on Zelenka's moonshine and lie on the floor, and Alec thinks that not even home felt this much like home sometimes.

It turns out he and Sheppard mostly work well together, and Sheppard never says things like "that was an unnecessary risk" or "you think you're invincible, don't you?" Instead he just congratulates Alec on bringing his team back in one piece and moves on.

He learns to deal with Magnus flirting with him. Mostly. Mostly because it turns out Magnus flirts with a lot of people.

He smiles at a pretty chieftain's daughter on M6Y-654 and nearly finds himself married according to their customs.

"Listen," Alec says, when they've managed to get the chieftain alone in his longhouse, "I understand he began the courtship rite, but he can't marry your daughter."

"Why not?" the chieftain asks, starting to look thunderous, and Alec starts planning escape routes.

"Because," Alec says. "He's ..." he looks over at Magnus, hoping for help, but Magnus is looking down at his boots, contrite, and Alec feels such a rush of affection that it's hard to be angry. Or, well. He's sure he'll forgive Magnus once they're out of here and no one is married.

"Oho!" the chieftain says and claps Alec on the shoulder so hard it nearly knocks him off his feet. "I didn't realize he was already promised!"

"What? He's no - I mean. Yes. Yes, he is." Alec nods firmly and really hopes he isn't blushing as much as it feels like he is. Magnus's head snaps up, and Izzy makes a noise that Alec knows is a stifled laugh, but Alec just looks earnestly at the chieftain.

"He's a feisty one," the chieftain says. He leans over and says, as if confiding in Alec, but really loud enough for the entire team to hear, "You'll have to work hard to keep this one in line."

Santiago comes over with a coughing fit, and Alec is so going to make him pay for that later.

"I'm working on it," Alec says, and Magnus beams at him.

In the end, they leave with a new trade agreement as long as they promise to invite the chieftain to the wedding.

"My hero," Magnus says when they're back in the puddle jumper.

"Yeah well," Alec says, "Maybe next time we tone down on the flirting with off worlders, hmm?"

Izzy makes a strangled sound, and Alec glares at her because it is a perfectly reasonable request that will save them a lot of trouble - as this mission just proved.

Magnus smiles softly at him from the co-pilot's seat. "Of course, Captain. I'll do my best."

Alec rolls his eyes. "I'll believe it when I see it."

***

Before he got to Atlantis, Alec figured his biggest problem would be the Wraith. A race of aliens that thinks people are food seems pretty hard to top. His mother trying to interfere with his life and his career from another galaxy also was at the top of his list, and maybe not getting along with Sheppard, because his mother seemed to think he was the devil.

Alec's actual biggest problem in the Pegasus galaxy is Lieutenant Fray.

Lt. Clarissa Fray gets rotated to Atlantis, assigned to Jace's team, and promptly starts sowing chaos wherever she goes. Alec knows it isn't entirely her fault: her expression of the Ancient gene is only less than Sheppard's in strength, and that means that sometimes shit just happens to her. 

But shit always happens to her.

It doesn't help, Alec thinks meanly as he and his team suit up to mount yet another rescue mission, that she has nothing in the way of common sense. _And it doesn't help_ , he thinks when they walk through the gate and he closes his eyes and reaches out with the bond, _that Jace always has to run after her like he has even less common sense_.

"I've gotta keep her safe, she's on my team," Jace says. Which Alec would maybe believe if he didn't have a fucking empathic bond to Jace and thus be perfectly aware of when he is being bullshitted.

"Jealousy is unbecoming, big brother," Izzy says one night when it's just the two of them in her lab. She loves Lt. Fray. Wants to treat her like her own personal doll.

"I'm not jealous," Alec says. 

"Really? Because with the way Jace is acting -"

"It's not -" Alec interrupts, because they are not talking about this. Again. "I gave that up a long time ago," he says. Again.

The look Izzy gives him is pure pity, and Alec nearly leaves the room. But that would just mean Izzy would think she's right. And she's not right. Alec made his decision the day he accepted the offer to the Air Force Academy. Which Izzy very well knows.

"You can't just turn emotions off like that," Izzy says. "No matter what Mom told you."

"Besides," Alec says, ignoring her, "I don't - I have a thing -" and then he snaps his mouth shut with an audible click of his teeth.

"Are we talking about Magnus now?" Izzy laughs.

"No," Alec says. "I'm going to bed now. Goodnight."

Anyway, if there's a device that will teleport you to another planet, or implant another consciousness in your brain, if there's a trap set for gene carriers that will shut the entire team up in a room with a rapidly dwindling air supply, then Lt. Fray will find it. She will find it, she will activate it, and Alec and his team will have to come to her rescue. Again.

"Thanks, brother," Jace says after his team has finished gulping oxygen. He claps Alec on the shoulder and goes over to see if Lt. Fray is alright.

"Whatever," Alec mutters. "Let's move out!"

***

Alec swims into consciousness slowly. I'm in the infirmary again, he think fuzzily. Dr. McKay's going to be mad.

But something feels off. There's no needle in his arm. No cool blue light beyond his eyelids. And no hum of Ancient technology at the edge of his senses. Something's wrong.

That's when the pain hits, and he nearly passes out again.

He breathes through it for long moments, enough to stay awake. His shoulder is on fire and his ribs aren't much better. It's all being made worse by the fact that his arms are pulled behind him and tied to a chair. And this is what makes him realize that he's been captured.

He forces his eyes open only to be met with blackness, and he nearly panics before he registers the feel of the blindfold against his face. So. Blindfolded. Tied to a chair, and ... shot? Yeah, shot. He remembers being shot. He remembers ...

He remembers a planet with a Wraith wreck and Izzy being delighted. He remembers a Genii raiding party. He remembers telling Santiago, "Get Izzy back to Atlantis. No matter what happens, getting Izzy out of here safe is your top priority." He remembers shouting to Magnus that he was right behind him, even though it was a lie. Then the sound of Genii pistols firing, and then nothing.

So. He's been captured by the Genii. It's not ideal. 

They've probably taken him through at least five gates to keep Atlantis from tracking him.

But Izzy is safe. Izzy and Santiago and Magnus all went through the gate, he saw them. So they'll be fine, and that's good.

He instinctively reaches out with his bond to Jace, but they're half a galaxy apart and he can't feel anything, really, and he can't concentrate through the pain to try. But it's fine, because his team is safe. 

He drifts for a while, until the sound of footsteps and a door opening jerks him back to alertness. 

"Atlantean," a man's voice says. Alec wouldn't be able to recognize the voices of the top Genii brass anyway, so he has no idea who it might be. "You are not a scientist." _No shit, Sherlock_ , Alec doesn't say. 

"But what are you worth to Carter and Sheppard, hmm?"

"Atlantis..." Alec rasps out and it feels like his throat is coated with glass. He hears the shifting of fabric and the man leaning closer to him. "Atlantis doesn't negotiate with terrorists," he says, and gets backhanded across the face for his trouble. It pulls his shoulder, and his vision whites out, and he might pass out again for a couple seconds.

"If they won't pay to get you back, then your only worth is what information you can give us," the voice says.

"Go fuck yourself," Alec says, because if they're going to kill him, he might as well get some satisfaction in before they do.

"A little cooperation could save you a whole world of pain, Atlantean."

"Can we get to the torture already? You're boring me."

"Oh, Atlantean. We're not going to torture you. We're going to do something far worse."

He hears the shuffling of multiple feet, and then someone grabs his arm. He feels the prick of a needle and then there's something like acid in his veins and Alec can't help but scream.

Then everything goes sideways, and Alec goes somewhere else for a while.

***

Alec surfaces again. He's mostly clear-headed.

How many times? How many times have they injected him? A few, he thinks. He vaguely remembers waking up like this before. The actual interrogations are mostly out of reach of his memory. He thinks he remembers giving them nothing but his name, rank, and serial number for a while, just to be shitty. He thinks he remembers talking about how much he wanted a dog when he was 10. Instead he got Jace. He can't remember if he told them anything important.

He waits for the voice to start again, for another injection, but there's nothing. The room is empty.

He can't tell how long he's been here, but he doesn't think they've fed him. He doesn't think they're planning to.

He can hear thunder. Maybe it's raining on the planet now. That sounds nice. He and Izzy and Jace used to hide in the attic of the townhouse in New York on rainy days and pretend they were in Narnia or Star Wars. Now they kinda are in Star Wars, which Alec finds incredibly hilarious all of a sudden. _Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope_ , he thinks, and laughs out loud, which jars his shoulder and he blacks out again, but only for a few seconds.

He thinks maybe he has a fever. Probably, he thinks, the bullet wound in his shoulder is infected. He wonders what will kill him first. The infection? Starvation? The Genii?

He finds himself rooting for the infection, just so the Genii don't get the satisfaction. But he really hopes it hurries up, because they'll probably be back soon with another injection.

He hears thunder again and imagines himself back in the attic with Izzy and Jace. It's a nicer place than this.

 _Jesus, Alec_ , he imagines Jace saying. _Hold on_. 

But it doesn't sound like Jace did when he was a kid. That's not right. Jace never said that.

There's thunder again, but the thunder sounds more like a grenade. And gunshots. And a lot of shouting, which is really interfering with Alec's ability to imagine himself a nice place to die.

Then the blindfold is pushed off his eyes, and he must be hallucinating now, because there's Jace and Magnus looking scared but resolute, which really is a pretty good look on both of them. But Magnus has a cut across his eyebrow, which Alec really doesn't like, because Magnus is back in Atlantis and safe.

"You're bleeding," he says, and then he passes out again.

***

Alec wakes up to cool blue light, a needle in his arm, and the hum of Ancient machines on the edge of his senses.

He's never been so glad to be in the infirmary.

He blinks his eyes open. The infirmary is dim, lit for night shift. He can feel Jace nearby, the murmur of deep sleep through the bond.

"Alec?"

Magnus is leaning over him, a butterfly bandage on his eyebrow.

"Hey," Alec tries to say. Magnus offers him an ice chip, which Alec takes gratefully. "You're okay?" he asks when it's gone.

"I'm fine, Alec."

"Izzy? Santiago?"

"Isabelle and Raphael are fine too, and so are Captain Wayland and the rest of his team, and literally everyone except you."

"I'm fine," Alec says.

"You are not fine. You got shot and pumped full of experimental Genii drugs." Magnus's hands are clutching the sheet so tightly his knuckles are white. Alec concentrates on making his hand work right enough to reach out and take one of Magnus's. Magnus instantly laces their fingers together and squeezes. That's nice.

"'M fine now," Alec assures Magnus.

"You said you were right behind me," Magnus says. He looks mad, but he's still holding Alec's hand.

"Mmm," Alec says. Opening his eyes has taken a lot out of him. He's sleepy again. "Had to make sure you went through the gate."

"I can take care of myself. But if anything happened to you, I -"

This sounds important so Alec forces his eyes to focus.

"I care about you, Alexander. Please don't do that again."

Alec squeezes Magnus's hand. This is important, but he can feel himself losing the battle with sleep. "Gotta keep you safe," he says. His eyes flutter shut.

He feels Magnus's lips on his knuckles, but he's pretty sure he's dreaming by that point.

***

It turns out the bullet wound is infected. Also, some ribs are cracked. And experimental Genii drugs do not fuck around. Alec is going to be in the infirmary for a while.

While he was sleeping, Izzy stuck a small whiteboard next to his bed that reads "It Has been _0_ Days Since Alec Landed Himself in the Infirmary."

Jace thinks it's hilarious. Alec just glares at her. "Izzy, come on."

"It turns out someone told Raphael that he should get me to Atlantis and not go back for anyone as long as I was safe, and then that someone got captured by the Genii," Izzy says in the bright tone that usually precedes her trying to stab someone with a stiletto heel.

Alec is never going to apologize for prioritizing Izzy's safety, so he lets it go.

Izzy can't be really mad anyway, because she stays in the infirmary, working on her tablet and occasionally keying her radio to yell at someone in the lab. Jace stays too, playing increasingly intricate games of solitaire using Alec's bed and legs as a table.

Alec tries to listen to an audiobook on his iPod that Jace brought down, but he can't concentrate, and he keeps dozing off. At some point he wakes up and Santiago is also sitting by his bed, reading a well-worn paperback. It sucks being in the infirmary again, but it's good to have a family, and a team.

Speaking of which, "Where's Magnus?" he asks.

Izzy, Santiago, and Jace all share a look that makes Alec's contentment evaporate immediately. 

"What happened? Is he okay?"

"He's fine," Izzy says. "He's just -"

"He's in Colonel Carter's office getting bawled out," Santiago says.

"What?"

They all exchange another look, and Alec is about to start demanding answers when Jace speaks up.

"Look, when you didn't come through the gate Magnus got ... upset."

Izzy snorts. "He wasn't the only one. And can anyone blame us?"

"Once we realized you were gone and we couldn't track you through the gate, Magnus wanted to go talk to some of his contacts and see if they knew anything about where the Genii might have taken you."

"Okay, so?" Alec asks.

"So," Izzy says, "Carter and Sheppard weren't approving his idea fast enough, so he went without their permission."

"What do you mean, without their permission? How did he dial the gate?"

"That's the thing. He was down in the gate well arguing with them, and then he just held up his hand and the gate started dialing."

"And his eyes were glowing blue," Jace adds. "It was kinda freaky."

"I didn't know he could do that," Alec says.

"I'm not sure he did either," Santiago says. 

"Anyway, he came back 22 hours later with an idea of where you might be, so Colonel Carter put off reprimanding him until we got you back," Izzy says.

"Oh," Alec says, unsure how to feel about that story. New powers popping up is unsettling, and he knows he should talk to Magnus about following the chain of command, but it also makes him feel warm and happy to know that Magnus was willing to do that for him.

Alec falls asleep again before he comes to any conclusions. When he wakes again, Magnus is there, playing a card game with Jace and Izzy while Santiago snores softly from his chair. Nobody notices Alec open his eyes, which is fine with him. He's just going to watch them play for a while.

***

The mission to the Illian harvest festival is more of a "sorry you go kidnapped by the Genii" gift than an actual mission.

Given that, Alec expects a hive ship to show up by sundown.

Magnus has a long relationship with the Illians, and the harvest festival is their most important holiday. As a Descended, Magnus's presence is a great honor for them. He could have gone alone, but he thought the team could benefit from a little R&R away from Atlantis. Colonels Carter and Sheppard enthusiastically agreed and practically pushed them through the stargate. 

They may have been getting a little stir crazy with Alec grounded. Izzy apparently caused a science department meltdown when she created some sort of Wraith hybrid. Major Branwell keeps diplomatically asking Alec when he thinks he'll be put back on duty because Sgt. Santiago is terrorizing her security staff. Magnus keeps disappearing into the Northeast tower and making it glow blue for hours at a time.

And Alec may be getting on Dr. Keller's last nerve.

Anyway, Alec is cleared for duty as of yesterday, and everyone seems grateful to be through the gate and into the crisp morning air of Illia.

A handsome older woman is waiting for them by the DHD.

"Magnus Bane," she says warmly, holding out her hands. "Welcome again to Illia. We're honored by your presence for the harvest."

"Daija," Magnus grips the woman's hands and kisses her on each cheek. "I'm delighted to be here and to see you again. You've barely aged a day since the first time I saw you."

Daija clucks at him. "You are a liar and a flatterer, as clearly I am an old woman now and you are still young and beautiful." She looks past him to the rest of the team. "With equally young and beautiful companions."

Magnus pulls away from Daija to gesture to the team. "These are my dear friends, Captain Alec Lightwood, Dr. Isabelle Lightwood, and Sergeant Raphael Santiago."

"Welcome to Illia. You honor us with your presence for the harvest."

"The honor is ours," Alec says. "Thank you for sharing your harvest with us."

Daija beams at them, then leads them away from the Stargate.

"Daija is a great hunter among her people," Magnus explains.

"Long ago, when I was young," Daija laughs. "Now I am old and frail." 

Daija doesn't look anything like frail to Alec. She's almost as tall as Magnus with a straight back and calloused hands. Her short brown hair is shot through with grey, but her face is mostly unlined except for deep laugh lines around her mouth and eyes.

Her village is on the banks of a wide river. On the other side of the river, the land pitches up into foothills covered in bluish trees, and then mountains.

It's beautiful and no wonder that Magnus has talked of this place with nothing but affection.

The villagers are ecstatic to see Magnus and to meet the rest of the team. Frankly, it all seems a little too good to be true. Probably that hive ship will show up at any moment now.

"Magnus," Daija says when the bulk of the villagers have moved on to continue setting up, "you have not come since I was married."

"Oh, congratulations!" Magnus says. Daija gestures at someone, and Alec is surprised when a small woman with long dark hair comes and fits herself to Daija's side.

"My wife, Alis," Daija says. She pulls Alis close and presses a kiss to the top of her head. Alis beams. Alec looks away. He's not stupid, and he's not totally sheltered. It's not like he hasn't seen gay couples before. It's not like he doesn't know that other cultures don't have the same prejudices as his. But there's something about the easy affection between Daija and Alis, something about the way they look at each other that makes his stomach clench with jealousy and wanting.

When he looks back, Alis is smiling at him gently, and he feels ashamed for even his momentary unkindness. He tries to smile back. It comes out crooked and awkward, but her smile grows wider in response.

The Illians are fun to visit: laid back and generous, quick to laugh and slow to anger. In the afternoon they have skill contests: races, and wrestling, and some kind of competitive grain pruning that Alec doesn’t understand. They’re all done with good humor. The winners get drinks of strong liquor or sometimes small trinkets.

The feast begins as the sun sets, and the food and wine keep coming as it gets darker. Everyone partakes deeply, though Alec refuses most of the wine because he’s on duty. And he’s still expecting a hive ship, or at the very least a cruiser.

When it’s fully dark, they light bonfires and play music. There’s dancing going on at each fire. Feeling the need for a walk and some fresh air after all the feasting, and beginning to believe that no Wraith are coming, Alec decides to check it out. At the first fire are older children and teenagers doing an acrobatic dance with lots of jumps and flips. Alec’s braced for a kid to be thrown into the fire, but they all seem sure-footed. 

At another fire, it’s couples of all ages, swinging each other around and then moving into patterns. He sees Daija and Alis on the edge, watching and clapping along to the music. Everyone is smiling as they dance, and most people are laughing. Alec watches at this fire for a long time.

When he reaches the furthest fire from the tables, he stops and stares. The music is mostly drums, rhythmic and pounding, and it feels like it’s burrowing under his skin and matching his heartbeat. The dancers are all men, all barely clothed and sweating from exertion. Their skin glows in the firelight. The dance is slow and sensual, almost erotic, and Alec realizes he’s hardening in his pants.

Alec turns away from the dance quickly, a blush burning his cheeks. He hopes no one can see it in the dark, and if they do, they think it's just heat from the fires.

"Captain Lightwood."

Alec just barely stops himself from flinching. It's only Alis, a mug in each hand and smiling at him.

"Just Alec is fine," 

"Alec, then. Here," Alis holds out one of the mugs. "A traditional harvest festival drink."

"Thanks,"Alec says, and takes a large gulp. It burns like alcohol, which Alec could definitely use right now, technically on duty or no.

Alis tucks her arm in his and begins leading him away from the dancing fires and back to the tables.

"I hope I didn't make you uncomfortable, earlier," Alis says.

"No," Alec lies, because he wants it to be true. He take another gulp of his drink, hoping the alcohol will make this all less awkward.

"My family has always been very ... conservative," he tries to explain. "It wasn't you. I'm just not used to..." Words fail him, but Alis doesn't seem to mind. She pats his arm.

"I understand. There are worlds that think what Daija and I have is unnatural. Although to me, it is the most natural thing I have ever felt."

"Yeah," Alec says. "My family is ... kinda like that."

"But you are not," Alis says.

"I'm trying not to be."

"Then I think you will succeed, Captain Alec Lightwood. But here is Magnus. I will leave you with him."

Magnus is at the end of one the long tables with a few other villagers, telling stories. He slides over to make room for Alec on the crowded bench, and their thighs press together. Alec takes another drink to try and cool the heat that rushes through him at that, but it's not really helping. Actually, maybe it's just from all the fires and the dancing before, but Alec is burning up. He unbuttons a few buttons of his shirt.

He finishes his drink around the time when Magnus finishes his story, and most of the villagers wander away toward the dancing fires. Alec thinks about getting up and finding another drink, but he's comfortable here and pleasantly tingly, and it occurs to him that the drink was really strong and he probably doesn't need another one. Anyway, they can still hear the music, and now his whole side is pressed to Magnus's, and he's not exactly sure when that happened, but he likes it a lot.

He slumps down a little so he can drop his head onto Magnus's shoulder. 

"Hmmm," Magnus hums happily, and his arm comes around Alec's shoulder. His thumb brushes against the bare skin of Alec's neck above his collar, and it makes Alec feel like he's on fire. Every nerve is suddenly singing, and he can't help but gasp softly. Magnus pauses, then does it again, and God, it feels so amazing. Alec never knew a simple touch could make his whole body go haywire.

Alec turns so that his face is tucked into Magnus's neck. Magnus smells fantastic, like expedition soap, and a little bit of sweat and smoke, and something warm and spicy. It all goes straight to Alec's dick, which is now rock hard. 

"Alexander," Magnus murmurs, and Alec loves the way Magnus says his name, like a caress. Alec wants him to say it over and over again, wants Magnus to touch him everywhere, and for hours. He can't ever remember feeling this desperately turned on, not since puberty passed. Maybe not even then. Then he felt so ashamed and confused. But he's not confused now. He wants Magnus.

"Magnus," he says, and he can't help it if it comes out a little like a groan. He presses his lips to Magnus's throat. The feel of his skin makes Alec hotter. He feels like he might actually combust.

The thumb against his neck stops and pulls away and Alec groans in frustration.

"Alec?" Magnus says.

Alec wants to know if Magnus tastes as good as he smells, and licks the spot he just kissed. He does, Alec decides.

"Alec, what were you drinking?"

"Dunno," Alec says into Magnus's skin. "Harvest drink. Alis gave it to me."

"Alec." Magnus pushes at Alec's shoulder, and Alec makes a soft sound of protest. He doesn't want to get farther away from Magnus. He wants to be closer. "Alec, why don't we go back to our quarters?" That does seem like a good idea. Their quarters are mostly private, and there are beds there. Mmmm, Magnus on a bed.

Alec nearly falls over the bench when he tries to stand up, but Magnus catches him and propels him toward the guest house. Magnus's hand on Alec's waist is hot even through his layers of clothing. Alec swears if he doesn't get Magnus naked soon, he is going to actually die.

Finally they get to the guest house, and then their quarters, and as soon as Magnus closes the door, Alec presses him against it.

Oh God, their bodies pressed up against each other feel so right. 

"Magnus," Alec says, and ducks down to kiss him.

Only to meet Magnus's hand that's pushing him away.

"Alexander, I'm so sorry. You've been drugged, and I don't want you to do anything you'll regret later."

"Magnus," Alec growls, "I want -"

"I know. You'll thank me tomorrow."

Then there's a flash of blue, and Alec's eyes are abruptly heavy, and he's sliding into sleep before he can protest.

***

Alec wakes up and immediately wishes he was dead.

The sunlight feels like knives shooting into his eyes, and he closes them again and drags a pillow onto his face for good measure, but it barely helps. Now that he's awake, he can feel how much his head aches. The feel of the blanket is torture against his over-sensitized skin. Even the faint breeze from the window is painful.

"Alec," Magnus says. Alec can tell he's speaking softly, but the word is like hammering in Alec's ears. "I'm so sorry, Alec, I know it hurts, but we're going to be late getting back to Atlantis if we don't leave now."

It's the way Magnus says he's sorry that jogs Alec's memory. 

He immediately wishes he was dead. Again.

The memory of the way he threw himself at Magnus, and the gentle way Magnus rejected him, makes him want to hide under the bed and never ever ever come out. But he can't, because they have to go back to Atlantis. Fuck.

He can't look at Magnus right now. He doesn't want to see the expression on his face, the pity. Alec is such a fucking idiot.

"Alexander - "

"I'll be out in a few minutes," he says from under the pillow. "Just ... give me a few minutes, okay?"

"Okay." Alec can hear Magnus shifting around, shouldering his pack, probably. "Isabelle said to take the pills on the wash stand."

Only when Alec hears the door shut softly behind Magnus does he take the pillow off his face. He's immediately assaulted by sunlight again. First priority, sunglasses. 

Stumbling around, trying to get ready to leave without crying or throwing up, keeps the shame and embarrassment at bay for a while. But when he steps out of the guest house and sees Magnus graciously saying goodbye to a group of villagers, it all comes rushing back.

"We're about ready to leave," Izzy says softly from his side. Thankfully, she doesn't try to touch him.

"Do I need to -" 

"Magnus is taking care of it. We can start."

Alec wants to protest. He takes their six. He makes sure everyone gets to the gate safely. But he's in no condition to keep anyone safe right now.

"Santiago, six," he says, and knows Izzy will make sure he knows.

He makes it halfway to the gate before he has to lunge off the path and vomit into the trees. He leans on a trunk after, trying to get his breath back. The bark is rough and hurts, but he really doesn't think he can hold himself up yet. He's out of it enough that he doesn't see Magnus approach until he puts his hand on Alec's shoulder.

"Don't," Alec bites out, shrugging it off.

Magnus flinches back.

"Sorry," Alec says, even though he's not, really. He just hates seeing Magnus distressed and he can't turn it off, not even now. "It's just, uh, my skin, it's..."

"I know oversensitivity is a side effect. Sorry."

"It's fine," Alec says. "I'm fine. Let's go."

***

Waking up was bad, but it was nothing compared to sitting in the infirmary with an IV in his arm debriefing Colonel Carter.

"The Illians call it Ipira. It lowers inhibitions and enhances the, uh, libido," Magnus says.

Alec's face burns with embarrassment. He'll probably still be blushing when he gets back to Earth.

"And is this kind of reaction normal?" Colonel Carter asks.

"Only if the desires are ... resisted," Magnus tells her. He's not looking at Alec and frankly, Alec can only be grateful.

"So you're saying that if Alec had just gotten laid, he'd be fine?" Izzy asks. As if it was that simple. As if anything was ever that simple.

"Well, yes," Magnus says. "Illians use it recreationally on special occasions." He darts a glance at Alec. "Usually they know what they're drinking."

Clenching his jaw is making Alec's head hurt, but he can't stop.

"Captain Lightwood?" Colonel Carter asks.

"I don't really remember anything after talking to Alis," Alec says. It's a blatant lie, but one he's hoping they'll let him get away with. They have a sample of the drink. There's nothing to be gained from Alec humiliating himself. Again.

Colonel Carter nods. "Alright. You're all dismissed. Go get some rest."

Izzy and Santiago file out after Colonel Carter. Only Magnus stays behind. Of course.

"Alexander, maybe we should talk about - "

"I apologize for the way I acted last night," Alec says, focusing on the wall beyond Magnus's shoulder. "It was inappropriate. I'm sorry for making you uncomfortable."

"That's not really what I -" But Magnus doesn't get to finish because Dr. Keller walks in. 

"When the fluids are done, you can go," she says. "Everything else checks out. But come back if you feel worse."

"I can wait with you," Magnus offers.

"I really just want to go back to sleep," Alec says.

"Oh. Well, we'll talk later then?"

"Sure," Alec lies, and doesn't even feel bad about it, because it means that Magnus leaves.

***

It's not easy avoiding someone in Atlantis, especially when that someone is on your team, but Alec is really, really determined. He's determined, and he has tactical training.

He ducks out of his room before he knows Magnus will show up for their run. He runs a different route, heads straight to the mess hall, and grabs breakfast to take back to his room. Atlantis helpfully tells him that Magnus isn't in the same hallway when he asks.

He knows he can't keep this up forever. At some point they'll have another mission. But he figures he can keep it up at least until he stops feeling like he will spontaneously combust from humiliation every time he looks at Magnus. Or until Magnus stops trying to talk to him about it. He just doesn't think he can handle Magnus's calm, gentle rejection again. Magnus probably even feels bad about it too, and that makes it worse.

He spends the morning in Sheppard's office having the most uncomfortably awkward debrief of his life.

"I don't remember anything," he repeats.

"Yeah, I've used that one too," Sheppard says. "Look, it'll be off the record. But I need to know if I'm going to send people back there."

Alec sighs and explains what happened on Illia, being vague about the other person involved. Until he says, "and then Magnus realized what was happening and sedated me." And then he sees Sheppard reading between all the lines and clenches his jaw, waiting for the anger or the pity.

But Sheppard just nods. "Well, it happens to the best of us. There's a reason we don't send teams to M4S-256 during pollen season, you know."

If this is intended to comfort Alec, it fails spectacularly, and also, he really doesn't want to know.

On the second day, he takes Teyla up on her offer of private stick fighting lessons instead of hanging out in Izzy's lab.

He didn't mean to avoid Izzy and Santiago and Jace too, but it just kinda happens, and he doesn't want to answer Izzy's questions anyway.

Sparring with Teyla is a good distraction because it takes all of his concentration just to keep from getting his ass kicked immediately. She still kicks his ass, but it's starting to take longer.

After a couple hours, Alec is bruised and exhausted and starting to feel calm for the first time in days, until he turns around and see Jace leaning on the wall, waiting for him.

"You can't avoid everyone forever, you know," Jace says.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Alec says.

"Okay, what really happened on that planet?"

"I told you, I don't remember."

"Alec. We're soulbonded. I know when you're bullshitting me."

"I hate it when you use that word," Alec says.

"Stop trying to distract me with semantics and tell me what the hell is going on."

Alec sighs. He can feel Jace's worry and determination through the bond. He's not going to let this go. But Alec really can't talk about this with Jace of all people.

He wonders if he can avoid this conversation with Jace for the rest of the four months of deployment.

"Wait, you're going back to Earth?" Jace accuses.

Alec has no idea how Jace picked that up through the bond. "No," he says. "Not - I don't." He takes a deep breath. "There are still four months on this deployment. I haven't made any decisions."

Jace's eyes widen, and Alec can feel the pulse of low grade panic through the bond. He knows Jace doesn't want to leave Atlantis. He abstractly wonders what being in different galaxies would do to the bond.

"Alec, you can't," Jace says.

"I just said I don't know yet," Alec says. "I gotta go shower." He brushes past Jace and he doesn't know what Jace is getting through the bond, but he doesn't follow.

On the third day, Alec goes off duty and takes the long way out to the south grounding station.

The sun is warm, and there's nobody around for miles. He drops his tac vest and jacket on the ground and sits on the edge of the pier in just his t-shirt, nibbling on a protein bar. A few feet beneath his boots, the water laps at the supports. He closes his eyes and feels the sun on his face and, faintly, the hum of Atlantis herself.

The thing is, he loves Atlantis.

The thing is, if he really wants to go back to Earth, he doesn't need to wait until his deployment is over. One email to his mother and she'll have him reassigned so fast the SGC won't know what hit them. Alec has never asked her for a favor with his career, and she'll hold it over him for the rest of his life, but she'll do it. 

His stomach clenches at the thought. He doesn't really want to leave, but he can't stand staying knowing he's fucked everything up.

He's always known that something was wrong with him. Even as a kid he knew - there was something about him, some reason he could never do anything right. His parents saw it too, and that was the reason he could never satisfy them. When he realized he was - that he didn't like girls and would never like girls, he thought that was it, that was the thing. The fact that his parents thought it was wrong too confirmed it.

Alec knows now - mostly, anyway - that liking guys isn't wrong. No matter what his parents might think.

But he thinks that there is something wrong with him, and maybe this is it: that he can't ever be satisfied with what he's given, always has to twist it into wanting something more.

Like with Jace, who has only ever offered him brotherhood and acceptance. Alec is just lucky that their relationship survived the bond. 

And now with Magnus.

God, what was Alec thinking? Magnus is over 300 years old. He was Ascended. He's - he doesn't need some stupid Earth kid starved for affection slobbering all over him. The very idea is laughable. Alec is so stupid.

Magnus had offered him friendship. Family. And now Alec's ruined it.

The sound of the transporter opening startles him out of his thoughts.

He doesn't need to turn around to know who it is.

For three seconds, Alec seriously considers doing something crazy like jumping off the end of the pier. But there's nowhere to swim. He's trapped.

Magnus sits down beside him, a careful six inches between them. Alec steels himself for what's to come. 

"Jace said you're going back to Earth?" 

That's not what Alec expected him to say, and Magnus sounds awful, upset and distressed.

Fucking Jace.

"I haven't decided yet," Alec says. "Jace is blowing things out of proportion." It doesn't seem to make Magnus feel better, though.

"Please don't go," Magnus says. "If you want, I'll leave Atlantis. I'll -"

"What? Magnus, no, you can't leave Atlantis." If there's one thing Alec knows, it's how vital Magnus is to the expedition. Not to mention the fact that he might belong in Atlantis more than any of them. He can't leave because of Alec. "Why would I want you to leave?"

"Izzy and Jace said maybe you don't feel comfortable with - That maybe I'm making you uncomfortable, and I don't want that, okay? Just don't leave because of me."

Fucking Jace. Fucking Izzy.

Alec takes a deep breath and prepares to humiliate himself even more.

"I almost didn't go to the Air Force Academy, did you know that?"

Magnus shakes his head.

"I was 17. I had an acceptance to Berkeley too - my parents would have hated it, but I hadn't told them I was applying. Nothing I ever did was good enough for my parents, but they expected me to go into the military and fight and climb the ladder and end up a general like my mother. And my mother always told me, if you want to advance, if you want to get the right postings and the right promotions, you're going to have to have a wife.

"She never said that to Jace. It was because on some level, even if she'd never admit it, she knew about me. You know that until recently people like me -" He forces the word out past the lump in his throat. "- gay people weren't allowed to serve in the military and be, you know, open?"

Magnus nods but doesn't say anything.

"So now we can, but it's not - you never know. And a lot of people still think there's something wrong with it. That's what my mother was saying. It may be legal, but if you really want to get ahead, you have to be straight. So I knew that if I chose the Air Force, I was choosing to never have any of that. For the rest of my life. And I figured, if I could fly planes and help people and do some good, then it was worth it. I knew I couldn't have what I wanted, so I figured I could have something else.

"And then I came here and I met you, and for the first time it seemed like maybe it was possible to have everything, you know?"

The look of sympathy on Magnus's face is almost too much to bear, and Alec has to look away.

"But I'm sorry I fucked it up. You don't have to leave. I'll - I just need some time, I swear. I'll get over it. I'll -"

"Alexander," Magnus says. He reaches out and puts his hand over Alec's, and the touch of his skin makes all of Alec's words dry up. "I think we're having a misunderstanding. I'm sorry. I should have made you listen to me earlier."

Alec swallows around a dry throat. He wants to pull his hand away, but he can't make himself. "Magnus..."

"Listen, Alec. The reason I stopped you on Illia isn't because I didn't want you. It was because you were drugged and you weren't making rational decisions. And even knowing that, it was hard. If you'd been sober, well ..."

Alec looks up. He's having a hard time processing what Magnus is saying.

"I've been alive a long time," Magnus says. "And it's hard sometimes, in this galaxy, to get attached, because the Wraith can take it all away in seconds. For well over a century, I haven't let myself feel much of anything for anyone. And then I met you, and suddenly I can't stay detached anymore."

Magnus squeezes Alec's hand, and Alec squeezes back without thinking.

"So I wanted to," Magnus says. "I really, really wanted to. And I still do. If you do."

He lifts his other hand and reaches out for Alec's cheek, stopping millimeters away. Alec can feel its warmth. He almost can't believe what Magnus is saying. That he didn't fuck anything up. That he can have this. He turns his head so that Magnus is cupping his cheek, and Magnus lets out a breath. His thumb brushes over Alec's chin and the corner of his lips, and Alec is so suddenly relieved that he's dizzy.

"Magnus," Alec says, and then forgets the rest of what he was going to say because Magnus is smiling softly at him and his hand is so warm. 

Alec is crap with words anyway. Instead of saying anything he ducks down and presses his lips to Magnus's.

***

When the sun touches the water, they decide they have to go back.

Alec's lips are swollen and over-sensitized. He’s memorized the taste of Magnus's mouth and the way his hands feel when they're running through his hair or down his arms or cupping the back of his neck.

He's beginning to understand why Jace and Izzy were so obsessed with kissing when they were teenagers.

He's tucked his head between Magnus's throat and collarbone, and Magnus is lightly running his fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck. Alec doesn't think he's ever felt this good.

"Jace and Izzy are probably going crazy by now," Magnus says. "I wouldn't tell them where you were."

"Jace knows we're fine," Alec says into Magnus's skin. "He's calmer now."

"Still," Magnus says. 

"I know," Alec says. "We'll be late for dinner with the team."

He sits up reluctantly. Magnus looks just as wrecked as Alec feels - lips red and hair mussed. Everyone is going to know what they were doing. The thought makes him a little scared, but mostly just gives him a thrill.

"Hey," Alec touches Magnus's hand, because he can just do that now. "About what Jace and Izzy said, about me not being comfortable?"

"I understand," Magnus says. "I can be discreet -"

Alec shakes his head. "No, that's not what I want. I mean, we probably shouldn't make out in the ops center or anything, but I don't want to hide. I've just, uh, I've never done this before, so that's why."

Magnus smiles at him, and Alec wonders if anything will ever feel as great as making Magnus happy. "Well, I haven't really done this before either. Not like this."

"So we'll be new at it together."

"Yes. Together."

***

It's not that Alec really wanted his first time to be up against a wall while he was alien roofied.

But if it had been, then it would just be over with and it wouldn't be worth mentioning now, instead of being weird and kind of a big deal.

Alec never thought he’d be able to have this. Not just the sex - though he’d given up on that too - but all of it. The relationship parts. Alec could have rid himself of his now-pesky virginity lots of times. But the one-night stands and anonymous encounters that seemed like his only option weren’t very appealing. And he’d always been afraid, not just of being found out, but afraid that if he gave in once, he wouldn’t be able to hold back anymore. He didn’t want to know what he was missing. It just would have made it harder.

Of course, in the Pegasus Galaxy, where life can be short and your end can come quickly and brutally, you take what happiness you can get when you can get it. Very little holding back required. Sexually, anyway. The long and short of it being that being a virgin at Alec’s age is pretty unusual. In a galaxy where whole populations constantly teeter on the edge of extinction, religious vows of celibacy aren’t even particularly common.

So even though he says he's not, and even though he says he understands the reasons why, Alec can tell that Magnus is a little weirded out that Alec has never had sex before.

And it doesn't help that Jace and Izzy apparently told Magnus that in their culture a person's first time was a big deal and supposed to be special. Alec is going to leave both of them on a planet with an orbital gate and forget the address.

The whole thing leads to situations like this: sprawled out on Magnus's bed, their shirts and boots in a pile on the floor, and the dust of M2Y-890 still sticking to their skin. Alec has a scrape down half his arm and a sprained ankle from when he tripped running from the sand snake and doesn't give a fuck because no one got eaten by a snake and now he's kissing Magnus and he's hard. He's so hard, and he can feel that Magnus is too, but Magnus keeps trying to slow them down, and Alec might actually fucking die if he doesn't get off _with Magnus_ soon.

"Magnus." He is aware that he's whining, and he doesn't care anymore.

"Shh," Magnus says against his lips.

With a growl, Alec flips them so he's on top and can glare down at Magnus. 

"Magnus," he says, and shifts his hips to watch Magnus shiver. "I want you. I want this." He brushes a thumb over Magnus's nipple and listens to his breath catch. "I'm pretty sure I've never wanted anything so much in my entire life. I don't need to go slow."

He leans down to kiss Magnus again, pressing them together from chest to ankle. Magnus groans into his mouth but gently pushes him away after a minute.

"Maybe I do," Magnus says.

"Magnus, I know that you -"

Magnus presses a finger to his lips, and Alec shuts up.

"I've had a lot of sex and a lot of relationships, yes. But I've never had a relationship like this. You're different, Alexander. So I want to do this differently."

And that ... is difficult to argue with. He tips himself to the side so he can lie next to Magnus and sighs.

"Okay," he says. "We'll do it your way." He wraps one arm around Magnus's waist and pulls him close. "But when I get eaten by a sand snake and die a virgin, you'll regret it."

"Don't worry," Magnus says, "I'll save you," and kisses him.

Five minutes later their radios start squawking about an unscheduled offworld activation, so it's really just as well.

***

There's something off about the Trevisans from the start.

Maybe it's their somber clothing, which reminds Alec too much of the Genii. Or the feverish light in their guide's eyes when he mentions their reverence for the Ancestors. Either way, Alec doesn't trust them.

But they have a higher level of technology than most Pegasus planets, and, when he and Izzy get a second out of earshot of their guide, she tells him that she's getting some seriously interesting readings.

"It could even be a ZPM," she says. "We need to send an engineering team back here."

That means they need to make nice.

"Okay, but be careful," Alec tells her. "Stay mundane. These people creep me out."

Mundane is the codeword they've developed for keeping their Ancient genes a secret. Sometime it's just better for people not to know. Alec definitely thinks this is one of those times.

Their guide's name is Florens, and he's the Junior Minister of Ancestor Research. Alec's not sure exactly what that is. He leads them through the small city straight to a large building that is clearly built around an Ancient installation. Engineering will definitely want to see this.

Izzy takes over keeping up the conversation with Florens, asking him questions designed to flatter his ego and listening intently to the answers. 

"Do your people have any who carry the Ancestor's Gift?" Alec hears him ask her as they walk into the building.

"None with that gift," Izzy lies smoothly. Magnus raises an eyebrow at Alec, and Alec mouths "mundane" back at him. Magnus nods and joins Izzy with Florens.

"Joyously, some on Treviso have been blessed with the Gift," Florens says. "It is a trait we revere and try to cultivate."

They must have people with the gene because when they walk into the Ancient installation, Alec can see that some of the technology is lit up and working. He can feel more of that particular hum that Ancient technology gives off the further into the building they go. Far fainter than Atlantis, of course. The entire structure isn't awake, only parts. Alec wonders what they're using as a power source. If they even know.

Florens proceeds to give them a tour, glorifying the Trevisans' discoveries and their experiments. Alec hangs back as the rest of the team walks ahead. Izzy sometimes gives him shit for his pathological need to keep his team in his sight, very literally watching their backs, but this place is freaking him out. That hum that the Ancient technology is giving off is slightly discordant - like something out of tune. It's making his teeth hurt.

It's only because he's fallen behind the others that he sees the girl.

She can't be more than five, with her hair braided in pigtails and wearing a dark grey shift. She steps out of an open doorway and then jumps to wave her hand over the sensor and close it behind her. She's one of the ones who has the gene, then. But why a little girl would be walking around a lab in her bare feet by herself is beyond Alec.

She turns and sees him then, and her eyes get big and scared.

Alec pushes his P-90 out of the way and crouches down. "Hi," he says and smiles. She eyes him warily. "My name is Alec," he offers. She's skinny. Almost too skinny. She hasn't run away yet, so Alec asks, "What's your name?"

"Madzie," she says, almost too soft to be heard.

"Nice to meet you, Madzie. That's a pretty name." She blinks at him. He looks up and down the hallway, but there are no other Trevisans. Something is off about this. "What are you up to?"

"I'm gonna find our nana," Madzie says.

"Where'd she go?" Alec asks. Madzie shrugs. "I could help you," Madzie considers this for a second, then seems to decide he's okay. She steps forwards and shows him what she's been cradling in her arms.

It's a life signs detector, but it's dark - it hasn't been initialized.

Alec considers for all of two seconds before he reaches out to touch it and and think _come on, work_. The life signs detector lights up, though the blue lights are shading toward green. There's probably a connection loose inside somewhere. But Madzie's face lights up, and she beams at Alec.

"Just don't tell anyone I did that, okay?"

Madzie nods solemnly. "If you have the gift," she says, "they'll keep you."

Alec freezes, really hoping that doesn't mean what he thinks it means. But of course it does.

Madzie's wandered ahead a few steps, focus on the life signs detector, and Alec takes a few quick steps to catch up. He wants to take her hand, but she needs both to hold on to the life signs detector.

"Why don't we find my friends?" he asks her. "They'll help us look for your nana."

Madzie nods distractedly. 

"Madzie," Alec says, trying to put the pieces together, "did your nana have the gift?"

Madzie nods again. "And she said the baby would have the gift too."

"The baby?"

"She said she was going to come back with a little sister, but she hasn't come back."

Jesus. "And when was this?"

Madzie shrugs, so Alec figures it could be anywhere from a couple days to a couple weeks. Jesus. He needs to find his team.

But for the next five minutes, they don't see anyone at all. Then the alarms start blaring.

Alec's not entirely sure, later, why he does what he does next. Maybe it's the scared, guilty look that Madzie gives him. Maybe because somewhere in the back of his mind, he already knows what's going on. But when he sees a mass of dots on the life signs detector coming their way, he thinks _open open open dammit_ at a darkened panel, and when the door opens, he pulls Madzie into a dark and dusty room.

Off, he thinks at the panel once they're inside. He kneels down and holds his finger to his lips, hoping that Madzie understands the gesture. He really hopes the people outside don't have life signs detectors of their own. He nudges Madzie behind him and raises his P-90. The dots on the life signs detector go by without incident and Alec relaxes a fraction.

They need to get off this planet.

He reaches for his radio. "Izzy, Santiago, Magnus," he says. "Come in."

"Alec," Izzy replies immediately. "Where are you? The Trevisans are freaking out. They said something's escaped. One of their experiments."

Alec looks down at Madzie, small and scared, and rage pools in his gut.

"I'm not exactly sure where I am, but I think I know who they're looking for. We need to get out of here. Now."

"Florens left us in a room, he said it's not safe," Izzy says.

"Is it locked?"

"No," Santiago breaks in.

"Then leave," Alec says. "Get to the gate, I'll meet you there. And guys, do not let anyone know you have the gene under any circumstances. These people take gene carriers."

"Copy," Izzy and Santiago say.

"Be careful, Alexander," Magnus says.

"You too. I'll see you at the gate."

Alec turns to Madzie. "I know you want to find your nana, but you're in danger now. And so am I. Will you come home with me? You'll be safe, and I promise we'll come back and try to find your nana."

Alec holds his breath waiting for Madzie's answer. He can't just leave her here, but he can't take her back to Atlantis against her will.

Madzie nods, and Alec lets out his breath in a huff. That's one problem down.

"You don't happen to know how to get out of here, do you?" he asks. She doesn't. Alec wonders if she's ever even been outside the building. He can't think about it now.

They have the life signs detector, but it won't do much good if they don't know where they're going. What they do have, though, is this room. He looks around and finds a terminal, cracked in the corner. He holds his hand to it. He can feel it trying to power up, but it stays dark. Fuck. 

He drops to his knees again, feeling for the access panel. He pulls his multitool out of his tac vest and uses it to pry the panel off and expose the crystals. There. One crystal is totally burnt out. He thanks God and Dr. McKay for the Ancient Engineering For Dummies and Military Personnel workshop and pulls the crystal. He opens another panel and pulls usable crystals from what he hopes is a nonessential system.

The screen reluctantly flickers to life, and Alec searches for site schematics. He feels Madzie's small hand reach up to cover his, and suddenly he's not looking at a screen, he's inside the system. 

It's like being in the chair, but as far as he can tell, there's no chair here. There's not, the system confirms for him. This was a bio-medical outpost, not a weapons facility. He can see which labs are active and which are missing critical crystals. He can feel that the ZPM the Trevisans have hooked up to the facility is broken inside somehow, and the outpost can't function at maximum capacity. _Fuck_ , he thinks. They need to get out. The system helpfully shows him site schematics, and also lets him know that the Trevisans can see that this room has been activated.

_Double fuck._

He commits the schematic to memory, then pulls his hand away. He's looking at a simple screen again. He looks down at Madzie and wonders how much of what they just saw she understood. No wonder the Trevisans are so upset about losing her. He thinks the terminal off, then pulls a bunch of crystals at random and crushes them beneath his boot. He won't leave it active for the Trevisans to use.

"We have to go quickly," Alec tells Madzie. "Will you let me use your life signs detector?" Madzie hands it to him and he sees that the hallway outside is clear, but not for long. "Keep close to me, okay?"

Using the life signs detector and the map in his head, Alec leads them through the outpost, avoiding patrols and active labs. It takes maybe half an hour, but it feels like an eternity.

"Captain, we've reached the gate," Santiago says in his ear. Alec sends a ping back to let them know he heard them but can't talk.

He and Madzie have reached an exit, but they still have to get through the city. The gate is in a landscaped park maybe a ten minute walk from the outpost. The door is locked, and Alec knows he can open it. But he also knows the door is alarmed, and if he does, the Trevisans will know exactly where they are. Well, fuck it. 

He tucks the life signs detector into his vest and picks Madzie up.

"We're going to run, so hold on tight, okay?"

Madzie's arms tighten around his neck, and Alec thinks, _open sesame._

He tries to keep to the alleys and empty streets at first, but gives it up when he hears shouts behind them. Then he just sprints full out on the most direct route he knows.

"Dial the gate!" he yells into his radio. "We're two minutes out and coming in hot!"

He has a big lead on the patrol that's chasing him, but he's also carrying Madzie, and he knows they're getting closer.

They also have projectile weapons similar to crossbows. He’s through the the entrance to the park when he sees the first little dart fly past his head. Around a corner and then there's his team, lit by the comforting glow of an active wormhole, weapons up.

The Trevisans are definitely close enough to be shooting more accurately now, and Alec curls around Madzie, trying to make sure none of her is exposed.

He can see the surprise on his team's faces when they realize exactly what it is that he's carrying, but their weapons don't waver. 

"Go!" he yells, and then grunts and stumbles when a dart catches him in the back of his arm.

He sees the exact second that Magnus decides to do it. His eyes narrow, and his expression hardens. He drops his P-90 and lifts his hands.

"Magnus, no!"

But it's too late. The blue light of Magnus's shield forms behind Alec, and the rain of darts stops. He turns and sees their awed and greedy faces through the shield.

"Get her through," Magnus grits out. "I'll hold them off."

"Magnus, no. Come on."

"I'll be right behind you," Magnus says.

"No -"

Magnus brings one hand down and sweeps it back toward the gate, and Alec is pushed by an invisible force through the wormhole. He stumbles on the other side and manages to twist himself so that he doesn't land on top of Madzie in the Atlantis gate room. Then he's scrambling to his feet, barely noticing Izzy and Santiago doing the same.

He watches helplessly, clutching Madzie to his chest as the wormhole winks out.

***

"We're wasting time," Alec says.

He's pacing the briefing room, even though Colonel Carter has asked him to sit down twice. He can't sit down. He can't calm down because Magnus is still out there. They have Magnus, and Alec shouldn't fucking be here, he should be there. He should be bringing Magnus back.

"I understand you're upset, Captain, but I won't authorize a wormhole until we know what we're sending people into."

"No, you don't understand," Alec says, and he's never in his life spoken to a superior officer this way and he doesn't care. His fists clench at his side, but there's nothing to hit.

"Captain Lightwood -"

"It's a breeding program," Alec says, and everyone finally shuts the fuck up. "They take gene carriers and breed them with other gene carriers, trying to make stronger gene carriers. And then they keep them locked up in labs, initializing the Ancient technology for them. Until they can breed them too. And now they have a Descended. They have Magnus and -" Alec can't even finish. Can't think about what they're going to do to Magnus if they get the chance.

They won't get the chance. Alec will not give them the chance if he has to steal a jumper and fight his way out of the gate room.

Carter and Sheppard exchange a look.

"What do you need?" Sheppard asks.

***

"We're going to get him back, Alec," Izzy says from the co-pilot's chair. 

Alec says nothing, his hands tight on the jumper controls, waiting for Sheppard's order. He can't let Izzy comfort him because he's barely holding it together as it is. He's been in combat missions where he hasn't been this scared. Hell, he's been in chopper crashes, certain he was going to die, where he hasn't been this scared.

It's only Jace sitting in the cargo hold sending him calming thoughts through the bond that's keeping him from flying off the handle. 

That and the knowledge that the Trevisans want Magnus alive.

"Jumper 1 is away; Jumper 2, you are cleared for take off," Sheppard says through the radio and Alec is moving.

He brings them up immediately when they're through the gate, out of the way of Sheppard's distraction. It's a calculated risk. With their Ancient sensors, the Trevisans might be able to see the jumper, even though they're cloaked. But Alec is guessing that they won't know what they're looking at even if they can.

And also that they'll be much more concerned with Colonel Sheppard firing energy drones at them.

Alec takes them over the city to the Ancient outpost and sets them down on the roof. In fact, according to the schematics burned into his brain, it's a landing pad for a jumper anyway, and the proximity alarms for the roof were never activated.

They leave the jumper with Sergeant Garroway and head into the facility. If there are Trevisans left inside, they probably know exactly where Alec and his team are, and he doesn't give a shit. Let them try and stop him.

There are people left inside, and some must have figured out what they’re here for, because they do eventually run into soldiers who try and stop them.

Alec shoots them and moves on. He doesn't have Madzie with him this time, and he doesn't have to worry about her, and these motherfuckers can go to hell for all he cares. He can feel Jace on his left, moving in perfect sync with him, covering him, just as hellbent on getting Magnus back.

He leads them to the door where he found Madzie and then beyond it. The truth is, he's not entirely sure where they're keeping Magnus, but there was one lab on the schematics that was lit up like a Christmas tree, and he's betting that Magnus will be there.

The door to the lab takes a little more coaxing to open, and when Alec steps in, P-90 raised, he sees that he's aiming his gun at a nursery.

There's a huddle of frightened kids in the corner and two adults in gray shifts standing over them protectively.

"Fray. Santiago. Get them ready to go," Alec says and moves past them.

One of the women reaches out for Alec's arm, and Alec flinches. "They brought a man in earlier today," she says. "He was unconscious." She points down a hallway. "Three doors down on the right."

Alec nods at her and jogs down the hallway, Jace and Izzy on his heels.

Magnus is right where the woman said he'd be, laid out on a table and hooked up to some Ancient machines.

Alec has to stop right inside the door, the relief of finding him alive so acute that he can't breathe for a second.

Izzy pushes past him, taking in the machines with a glance and then starting to unhook Magnus from them.

"They've drugged him," she says. "I don't know with what exactly. We need to get him back to Atlantis."

Alec can move again, so he goes over and picks Magnus up, settling him in a fireman's carry across Alec's shoulders. 

"I'll cover you," Jace says without Alec needing to ask.

Back in the main room the children are all lined up between the six adults. None of them have shoes. 

"Is this everyone?" Alec asks the woman who spoke to him. She nods. "Okay, let's go."

Alec takes two steps before he sees the terminal in a recess near the door. He reaches out and it initializes at his touch. _Come on, let me in_ , he thinks at it. _I don't have Madzie here, but I need to get in_ \- And he's falling into the system again. 

He searches for the power core. The ZPM powering this facility is flawed and almost drained. In time it will become unstable.

He sets an overload cycle running.

He lifts his hand from the terminal and sees Jace looking at him. His resolve is echoed right back at him through the bond. The Trevisans won’t do this to anyone else ever again.

"We've got 20 minutes," Alec says.

15 minutes later he sets Magnus down on a bench in the jumper, and he and Jace are shouting "Go go go!" at Sergeant Garroway in unison.

"Colonel, dial the gate and be ready to move! This building is going to blow!" Jace is saying into the radio, and that's fine, Jace can take over now.

Alec kneels down next to Magnus and cups his cheek, feels his breath against his thumb.

They're slipping through the wormhole when the first explosions go off, but Alec doesn't hear them.

***

Alec wakes up in the infirmary because someone is petting his hair.

It takes him a second to remember that he is not the one in the infirmary, not this time. He's fallen asleep slumped over Magnus's bed, his head tucked above Magnus's hip. Now Magnus is running his hands through Alec's hair.

"Hey," he says, lifting his head. "How are you feeling?"

"Better now," Magnus says. He frowns when Alec sits up enough so that he can't reach his hair. But Alec takes his hands in his, and Magnus entwines their fingers. "How's the girl? Is she safe?"

"Her name is Madzie. And she's safe. And so are all the other gene carriers that were imprisoned there."

"My hero," Magnus says, and his eyes flutter like he's going to fall back asleep. Dr. Keller says he needs his rest, but Alec has something to say first.

"Hey," he says. Magnus opens his eyes. "Don't ever do that again, okay? That's an order from your team leader."

"As long as you're safe, I don't care what happens to me," Magnus says.

"I care," Alec says. He squeezes Magnus's hands like he can make Magnus understand by osmosis. "I have never been that scared in my entire life, Magnus. If something happened to you, I ... I wouldn't be okay. I -" There's something building in the back of Alec's throat. He can't get it out yet, but someday soon, maybe he'll be able to say it. "Just don't do that to me again," he says instead.

Magnus smiles at him like he's heard everything that Alec wants to say and can't yet. "Ditto," he says and squeezes Alec's hands back.

***

On Alec's 211th full day in Atlantis, Colonel Sheppard calls him into his office.

"Well, Captain Lightwood, this is your 60-day notice," Sheppard says with deliberate nonchalance. 

"Sir," Alec says.

"I have a memo here from General Lightwood demanding your release. Her word."

Alec suppresses a wince.

"But as you know, it's up to you whether or not you stay in Atlantis once Carter and I sign off on you."

"Sir?" Alec raises his eyebrows at Sheppard.

"Captain, if I tried to send you back to Earth I believe I'd be facing mutiny from Captain Wayland, half the science team, our Descended, and a very precocious six-year-old on the the mainland."

Alec allows himself a smile. "Well sir, if it will stop a mutiny, I guess I'll have to stay."

"General Lightwood isn't going to like it."

"She'll get used to it," Alec says.

Sheppard gives him a genuine smile then and reaches his hand across the desk.

"Welcome home, Captain Lightwood."

"It's good to be home," Alec says.

And it is.

**Author's Note:**

> Content Warning: Alec is drugged without his consent with something that has a sex pollen effect. But the other party realizes what happens and nothing sexual happens except some mild cuddling. A later part of the story centers around a forced breeding program, but nothing more intense or explicit than what was in the show and with no attempted rape shown on screen. /content warning.
> 
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> 
> Hey! You can find me on tumblr at [beatperfume](http://beatperfume.tumblr.com)!


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